Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My dick has a subreddit
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
