Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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