I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
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