Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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