Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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