i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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