Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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