Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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