You really coming over, don't trick.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
