i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
