I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
