if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
