You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
