Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
