Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
