remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
