I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
