3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
sick fucks of a feather flock together
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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