I wannas sexs uuuuu
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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