Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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