Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
