I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
