there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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