with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
