i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize