she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
