there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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