Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
