There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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