Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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