I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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