I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
