Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
