why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
