why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
