Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
