Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
