Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
