yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
