It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
why is half of my head shaved?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
