I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
