So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
