i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
