Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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