I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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