he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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