C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So apparently I’m into choking now
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