You can't motorboat a personality
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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