Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
