Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
