my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
