David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
