whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
