he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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