I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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