I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
