dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you never un-have a 4some
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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