How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
