Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
