Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
