he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
